


Hand to Hand

by aphrodite_mine



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Bechdel Test Pass, Gen, Handcuffs, Slash if you squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-04
Updated: 2014-05-04
Packaged: 2018-01-21 23:39:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1568129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aphrodite_mine/pseuds/aphrodite_mine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes juvenile behaviors require juvenile punishment.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hand to Hand

**Author's Note:**

  * For [scintilla10](https://archiveofourown.org/users/scintilla10/gifts).



New York City doesn't mess around with summer, which means that not only is it hot in the ninety-ninth precinct, the air-conditioning ground to a shuddering halt around 8 AM, and within the last hour not only has Scully farted multiple times, but Hitchcock has removed every article of clothing he can without committing a felony. Tensions are high. Sweat-stains are emerging in places no one had dared to previously imagine. This is the kind of weather that gets people punched in the face for no reason, so it's totally-100%-completely understandable that Amy snaps.

"Why _the hell_ would arresting officer be _Detective Diaz_?" Amy shouts, reading what Rosa is typing over her shoulder. "Because I seem to recall being made lead on this case."

"Maybe because _I made the arrest._ Or is this a logic-free zone?" Rosa has long ago been forced to abandon her leather jacket. Her hair is starting to wilt. 

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. The only logic-free zone _I_ see is apparently the… zone…" She can't think of anything. Even sweaty, Rosa may be perfect. "Of your face!" Amy spits out before she loses her nerve. A mistake. Amy realizes it instantly, stepping back from Rosa's chair but only a little because she is sensible, not a coward.

To her credit, Rosa doesn't strike. She simply _tab_ s to the next space in the form, leaving _Det. Rosa Diaz_ to glow out at them in bright white and black. 

Amy clears her throat. "You didn't change it."

"Did I say something to give you the impression that I was going to?"

"No, but, I think. It would be the right thing to do." Amy's face is set, stubborn, and she crosses her arms. She couldn't intimidate a small child. Rosa, on the other hand, merely drops her hands from the keyboard and turns slowly to look Amy square in the face. "Which is of course, totally up to you to interpret. I mean, right and wrong? No one _really_ knows what they are." The children of Brooklyn don't need a boogey man. Detective Rosa Diaz's silent stare is enough to reduce Amy Santiago to a babbling, hand-waving mess.

"Your hand, Santiago," Holt says, having approached from _nowhere_ , his face revealing as much as usual about where this is going.

Amy blinks, says "Of course, sir!" and then automatically extends her (sort of sweaty, actually) hand, which Captain Holt takes and promptly handcuffs to Rosa's where it lays on her desk.

"The two of your have been bickering for far longer than what may be considered reasonable. Longer still than what may be considered reasonable for two of the best detectives in the Nine Nine." Holt dispenses his disapproving (or mildly hungry? or sad?) glare in equal measure to both Amy and Rosa, with a quick look around the room. He isn't a particular fan of bondage for punishment, but perhaps this will serve as a warning to the rest of his team. 

"But sir--"

Holt raises a hand and Amy abruptly silences, accepting this new development in her workday with shame. 

"The two of you have work to do. I expect it finished, and I expect you to finish it together." Captain Holt takes a few steps back towards his office, turning to say over his shoulder, "And if I hear any more arguing, you may find yourself doing paperwork together in a cell. Where there are no fans."

Once Holt is out of immediate earshot, Rosa, who has managed to stay silent during the exchange, jerks on the cuffs -- hard -- causing Amy to yelp. "This is stupid. And it is your fault."

" _My_ fault?" Amy starts, cutting herself off abruptly when Boyle makes a slow turn in his office chair. Spies surround them. She shifts posture and volume. "Obviously this isn't my fault, or Holt would have only handcuffed _me_." She clenches and unclenches her fists. "To my desk, or something. Which is over there. And should probably be over here, if this is going to be a productive internment."

"Whatever," Rosa says, but gets up to help Amy push the aging metal behemoth across the room. It hasn't been moved in probably a decade and squeals _far_ louder than any argument. Because, of course it does.

*

"What's wrong, Santiago. Your squirming is distracting."

"I…" Amy trails off, muttering her reply as her cheeks pink. 

"What." Rosa's stare is more _murder_ than _curious_.

"If you have to know," Amy clears her throat, shifting yet again in her set. "I have to pee."

Rosa snorts rudely. She smirks, "Don't worry, Santiago. I'm not gonna watch." She makes ready to stand, pausing to make sure she won't be stopped by handcuffs attached to a non-moving co worker.

Amy frets, still sitting. "What if I had to go… you know. Number two." This is a potential problem that occurred to Amy about three hours. It has been traumatizing her ever since.

"Everybody poops, Santiago," Rosa answers, rolling her eyes. She resumes typing, but pauses after a moment. "But you don't, do you? Have to do that, I mean?"

Turning a dangerous (and adorable) shade of pink, Amy hisses "No, of course not," and pulls away, jerking the metal against both their wrists despite Rosa's intention to avoid just that. 

Thankfully, they make it to the bathroom without much incident (aside from Boyle's whispered "I had a dream like this," and Rosa's withering look in his direction). If possible, it is even hotter in the ladies room, though the metal stall door is cool on Rosa's shoulder when she leans against the outside.

"Why is this so important to you?" Rosa asks, breaking the silence. Maybe its easier to talk with the stall door between them. 

"Can we not talk while I'm sitting on the toilet? It's weird."

"Would you rather I hear everything y--"

" _Okay!_ " Amy huffs out a frustrated breath. "Since Peralta-- _was fired_ \-- my arrest stats aren't… so hot. I don't know why! I'm working as hard as ever, and I'm sure an attentive person like Captain Holt recognizes that, but to an uneducated outsider--"

"Or to Holt."

"Or Holt. It might look like I only did well _because_ of Jake, which is such a ridiculous fallacy of logic that I can't even begin to qualify it."

"Being seen as competent is important to you." Amy flushes and emerges from the stall. She's still pink, and ducks from Rosa's gaze. "I get it."

Amy turns abruptly, jerking the handcuffs once again. "You do?"

Rosa rolls her eyes. "Wash your hands, Santiago."

*

The obvious next stop is the break room. For one, the kitchen has ice water. For another, neither is too keen to return to staring at the glowing computer screen.

Once she has swallowed a few freezing gulps, Rosa says, "The real problem is that there isn't a system in place for when the arrest truly is joint. I mean, I hate getting overly sappy, but without your research, we never woulda got this guy."

Amy perks up. "And without your incredibly frightening stare and quick draw, we wouldn't have gotten him, either."

"You drove."

"You ran really fast!"

"Uh," Gina announces her presence, attempting to either move around them or somehow duck under their linked arms. "If you two are done with your mutual admiration fest, I need some liquid refreshment." She takes a moment to look from one to the other. "Isn't the whole point of the handcuffs thing so you two will get along? Cause you seem pretty chummy now."

For the first time in what feels like hours, Amy allows herself to smile. She turns to Rosa and shrugs. "What do you think? Should we make our case to Holt?"

Rosa scoffs. "I still don't know what to put on the form, but. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't all about getting un-handcuffed. And," catching Amy's look of dismay, "no, this isn't a rejection of our friendship or whatever."

Back at Rosa's desk, they discover a key on top of a report. Rosa scrambles to unlock them while Amy flips through. _Arresting Officer: Dets Rosa Diaz and Amy Santiago_ it says, and on the last page, Captain Holt has signed off.


End file.
